I'll try.

Remember treesexfight? It's a project I often times look back at, and regret not completing it or having the determination to continue past the first month. Honestly, school was too much for me to handle and I remember nights when I was comfortably cuddled up in bed and treesexfight comes into mind, I had to drag my sorry ass out of the bed and write a post about the day. Sometime it took 5-10 minutes, sometimes more. Tiring days were somehow the easiest to summarise because there's nothing much to think about and the gist of the day is always the easiest to grasp.

Maybe I'll attempt the treesexfight again, and it probably wouldn't start on the first of January, which will piss the OCD side of me really badly, but I am trying to stop this procrastination thing from ruining my life.

So much has happened this semester, it was one filled with emotional and physical turmoils. I wish I had recorded it down and evaluated my growth and change from it. Recently, it's been getting easier and easier to doubt myself. Easier and easier to doubt the people around me. I always put the blame back to that one incident that changed me, but I think it's time to grow out of it. I'm honestly not sure if it's the right thing to do, but right now it's controlling me too much that I need to do something about it.

I want to find back the sociable and more open-minded me back in year one; the more well-liked and jovial me. I thought I wanted to concentrate on my school work this semester so I turned it off, but somehow it seemed to backfire and made me really unhappy and unproductive, and most of all, tired. It's hard to go back once you lost it. It will never be the same again, but I will try. I'll try.

(Thanks Siang for introducing me to this song a long time ago!)