Neither of you have twitter but I'm still gonna tweet this please tell me you stalk my twitter

Some stuff happened and I have been thinking about how lucky I am and how ungrateful I am. I'm not a nice person. I'm not a good person. No matter what I do to make up for it will never change who I am. I am hoping it will, but I know I'm not a genuinely nice person. I know people should hate me. I know I don't deserve any of this.

I am lucky to even have friends. I am thankful to them but I don't know how to show it. I just wanna say that there are only two persons (not blood-related) whom I will willingly call when I am in any sort of trouble because I know they will be there for me and who will put down everything they are doing to help me. I don't know what I will do if they decide to leave my life but I know I will be pretty damn fucked up. Neither of them has twitter so I hope they either stalk my twitter anonymously or they read my blog hahaha. Okay nvm I will make sure they read this anyhow. 

Thanks for being there for me when I was my worse, when I was not what a normal human being would be. Thank you for knocking sense into me and helping me get on track. I know I'm still not there yet but I will because I don't want to disappoint you. I know I'm sometimes really annoying (maybe most times hahaha) but you've always been there for me. You've always been supporting me and helping me in all ways you can and maybe I don't show it but I really appreciate it. I'm sorry if I ever do anything that will irritate the hell out of you but please bear with me and help me change for the better. I have more words than this to say about you but I'm too overwhelmed to type them all out hahaha I guess I will just have to show it to you. <3 

To the other person, we've not really been through thick and thin together but I have seen you been through it all alone. I am sorry for not having been an active part of your life in our earlier years of acquaintance, I know I've tried but I also know I've not tried enough. Now, I'm making it up to you because even though I don't know if you're someone worth keeping close to, you've been showing me that you are. Thanks for being here for me the past few weeks and I know you're not gonna be here forever, but I will make sure I'm a part of yours forever hahahaha. 

Okay actually there are more people who I am really grateful to (you know who you are) but I think I won't call them when I am in certain situations. These two anonymous persons are the only ones I will look for when I am in deeply embarrassing situations hahahaha okay enough. And maybe because I have only memorized so little phone numbers.