I think I'm ready.

It feel different every time.


I'm not sure if this is how it feels like to like somebody. I have steered clear for almost a year before this. I know I've always thought him to be of an ideal partner, but I never really thought about it any further than that. Recently I've been noticing myself more and the things I do seems to suggest otherwise. I put in a lot of time, effort and money into something because it means getting to be around him more. I laugh a lot more at his (cold) jokes than before. I think about him a lot. I learnt to accept and embrace his flaws. I made efforts to be friends with his friends. I made an effort to be on his level, academic wise and humour wise. I made an effort to ask him for favours whenever I can, even if it means getting more inconvenienced. I sacrificed sleep just to spend more time around him. I know this probably sounds really crazy and idiotic, but I don't really know how to control it. One thing I can control is to make all these seem really natural and not reveal a hint that I like him. I don't really think it's a wise choice but I'm afraid of rejections.

Except I think I'm not his type.

But I know if he ever finds someone he likes, I'll wish him all the best. (That is, if I approve of the girl.) Although it's gonna take a really long time for me to get over.





SHIT.