Sometimes I blame my lack of poverty as the reason to why I'm doing so badly in academics. I know it sounds unappreciative and downright unfilial and I'm pretty sure it is.... However I do wonder if I would have been more motivated to study and break out of the poor living conditions if my family were not this lucky.
My dad has been a very lucky dude. He didn't complete his secondary school and he doesn't have a single certificate to prove his literacy. Yet he was hired by a company and he worked from the very bottom to the very top. I remember how we had a harder life when I was younger and life just got easier year by year. I guess I sort of took that for granted and a given that life gets easier as you grow older. I didn't realize how hard I had to work to get what I want. My siblings, on the other hand, knew that very well. They lived 3 to 4 years more than me and had led a more miserable childhood than I had, and hence knows what it means to actually be poor.
The other day when I was in the car with my sister on the way back from the airport... I heard some parts of her story and it hit me hard what it means to work for what you want and what people mean when they say "study hard and you won't regret later". She basically said she didn't want to study Medicine but she knew it would get her somewhere and that's why she worked so hard for it, and now she can finally relax (from studying because work is like shit for doctors hahaha) and what she's gonna earn at the end of her 5-year-bond is amazing, and even if she chooses to work in a polyclinic and have 8-5 working hours (which she assures all of us she most definitely is going to do) she would still earn a comfortable amount of money. And to add to that she has a good husband who has a company to takeover.
I on the other hand am still considering if I want to lead a life where I can earn money or one where I can do what I love. Sometimes I'm really confused and other times I'm really clear of what I want.
I realized I deviated from my original point. Back to my original point:
I really feel like if I was less privileged, I would be more motivated to study hard and achieve what my parents couldn't. I guess seeing how lucky my Dad was made me think I would be as lucky as him, but we all know what the real world is like now... I also used to think that I should find a husband and let him worry about all the financial matters at home but I've learnt that most of the time, wives are the one doing the financial managing hahaha. Oh well. And I might not get married as well sigh sigh. I am not sure if I would be happier if I was more privileged, like those rich kids with companies to inherit when they grow up. True that it means my future is settled for me, but that would also mean that I would most probably become lazy as fuck and not give a shit about anything. I'm not sure which kind of rich kid I will turn out to be but I think it is better this way. I may sometimes wish I was a rich kid, but other times... Boy, am I glad I am not.
Side note: ACW tomorrow! Not a fan of water parks but I'm pretty excited for the meal after hehe. Gonna have some atas shit dinner woohoo!
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